Remember Gary Larson's Far Side Cartoons? Click to check these out.
Adam and Eve
A little girl asked her mother,
"How did the human race start?"
The mother answered,
"God made Adam and Eve and they had children, and so all mankind was made."
Two days later the girl asked her father the same question. The father answered,
"Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved."
The confused girl returned to her mother and said,
"Mom, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they developed from monkeys?"
The mother answered,
"Well, dear, it is very simple.
I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his."
At a recent Sunday sermon...
"Dear Lord", the minister began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face. "Without you, we are but dust..." He would have continued but at that moment my very obedient daughter who was listening leaned over to me and asked quite audibly in her shrill little four year old girl voice "Mom, what is butt dust?"
The Rabbi and the Pope
Around the year 900, the Pope decreed that all the Jews had to convert to Catholicism or leave Italy. There was a huge outcry from the Jewish community, so the Pope offered a deal: he'd have a religious debate with the leader of the Jewish community. If the Jews won the debate, they could stay in Italy; if the Pope won, all the Jewish people would have to convert or leave.
The Jewish people met and picked an aged and wise Rabbi to represent them in the debate. However, as the Rabbi spoke no Italian, and the Pope spoke no Yiddish, all agreed that it would be a silent debate.
On the chosen day, the Pope and Rabbi sat opposite each other.
The Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers.
The Rabbi looked back and raised one finger.
Next, the Pope waved his finger around his head.
The Rabbi pointed to the ground where he sat.
The Pope brought out a communion wafer and a chalice of wine.
The Rabbi pulled out an apple.
With that, the Pope stood up and declared himself clearly beaten, and said that the Rabbi was too clever. The Jews could stay in Italy.
Later the Cardinals met with the Pope and asked him what had happened.
The Pope said, "Firstly, I held up three fingers to represent the Trinity. The Rabbi responded by holding up a single finger to remind me there is still only ONE God who is common to both our faiths.
Then, I waved my finger around my head to show him that God was all around us. The Rabbi responded by pointing to the ground to show that God was also RIGHT HERE with us.
I pulled out the wine and host to show that through the perfect sacrifice, Jesus has atoned for our sins, but the Rabbi pulled out an apple to remind me of the ORIGINAL SIN. He beat me at every move, and I could not continue."
Meanwhile, the Jewish community gathered to ask the Rabbi how he'd managed to win.
"I haven't a clue," said the Rabbi. "First, he told me that we had three days to get out of Italy, so I gave him the finger.
Then he tells me that the whole country would be cleared of Jews, but I told him emphatically that we were staying right here."
"And then what?" asked a woman.
"Who knows?" said the Rabbi. "He took out his lunch, so I took out mine. I still have no idea what happened after that."